4: Let’s Talk About Grades: What They Do (and Don’t) Tell You About Your Child
When report cards drop, it’s easy to see them as a verdict—on your child and your parenting. What if we shift that mindset? In this episode, Scotti unpacks what grades really measure (and what they don’t), why they hit such an emotional nerve, and how parents can respond in ways that open up connection instead of conflict. You’ll get some real questions to ask when grades aren’t what you expected, strategies to shift the conversation, and reminders that grades are a tool—not the whole story.
Key Takeaways:
Grades aren’t a verdict—they’re a starting point.
They reflect performance in a specific environment, not intelligence, effort, or potential.Your own school experiences might shape how you feel about your child’s grades.
Noticing that can help you respond with more empathy and less pressure.Your response matters more than the letter on the report card.
Asking thoughtful, supportive questions can strengthen trust and insight.Zoom out to see patterns, collaborate with teachers, and partner with your child.
Use grades as data to understand what’s working—and what support might be needed.
Resources:
Want a low-stress way to reflect, plan, and feel more confident for fall? Join the School Success Lab: Summer Edition—a 2-month membership designed to help you prep smarter, not harder.
Take the Golden Girls inspired School Support Style Quiz to find your unique superpowers.
Connect with Scotti:
Transcript
5: Summer Camp Benefits for Kids Who Learn Differently
[00:00:00] School may be out, but learning doesn't have to take the summer off. In fact, some of the most powerful growth happens outside of the classroom, like at camp, where kids build confidence, curiosity, and a real sense of what they're capable of. If your child had a tough year at school, summer camp can be more than just fun.
It can be freeing. It's where they get to take risks, try new things, and feel proud of what they can do. In this episode, we're exploring why camp matters, especially for kids who don't always get to shine during the school year, and how we can carry that summer spark into what happens next. Stay with me to the end for a brand new, small, but powerful tool to make those wins last into the next school year.
Welcome to Unlocking School Success, a podcast with the smart strategies and support parents need to help their kids thrive. I'm your host, Scotty [00:01:00] Weintraub, parent coach, school navigator, and your go-to guide for turning School Stress and Chaos into clear strategies that work. Let's get started.
School can be a tough place for kids who learn differently or deal with anxiety or struggle with focus or executive function all year long. They're getting corrected, redirected, reminded, sometimes way more than they're being truly understood, and that's not because they're not trying, it's that school just isn't always built for how their brains work.
And by the time summer hits, a lot of these kids are worn down and discouraged. They're quietly wondering if maybe they're just bad at school. I've seen it with my own kids. That slow erosion of confidence, even though I know how hard they're working and how capable they really are. That's part of why we're big fans of summer camp.
At my house, I've seen firsthand what a difference it can make. They just [00:02:00] seem more like themselves again, after a positive empowering experience at camp, whether it's a day camp or a sleepaway camp, the shifts can be real. That different kind of environment with fewer rules, more freedom and space to explore can bring out a whole new side of them.
They can take risks, try things they'd never even consider at school, and start to feel proud of what they can do instead of being reminded of what they can't. Because for a lot of kids, camp isn't about going back to who they were. It's about discovering who they really are when the pressure is off.
That's exactly why camp can be such a powerful reset. It's not a break from learning, and it's far from that actually. There is so much learning that happens in camp, but it is a break from the pressure. From the constant comparisons, the grading, the reminders to sit still or stay on task at camp, no one's marking [00:03:00] them down for forgetting homework.
Kids are moving, building, creating, problem solving and learning in the moment, and especially for kids who've spent the school year feeling like they didn't quite fit the mold. This kind of environment can feel like a breath of fresh air. Did you go to camp as a kid? Think back on that for a minute. What stands out in your memories?
Was it learning to paddle a canoe, performing in a silly skit, making friendship bracelets, or maybe staying up late talking in the dark with your cabin mates? These kinds of moments, they stay with us and they certainly did for me. I can vividly remember learning to square dance and scrubbing dishes on kitchen duty or belting out songs at the top of my lungs during dinner at 4- H Camp.
It wasn't about being the best or getting anything right, it was just about showing up, joining in, and discovering what I could do in a [00:04:00] totally different setting. That's why I care so much about what camp offers. It's not just about picking up new skills. It's about kids feeling capable and seen so they can be proud of who they are.
And for those kids who've had a hard time at school, even short bursts of that can shift the way they see themselves. So let's look at what exactly makes camp so impactful and how we can carry that momentum into the next school year. Camp helps kids feel successful again. For kids who've had that rough year at school camp's, a chance to feel successful again, whether it's reaching the top of a rock wall, completing a craft project, or performing in the talent show, those wins matter.
They're real proof that your child can do hard things. I like to call this a vacation from failure, because let's be honest, if you felt like you were failing all the time at school, [00:05:00] wouldn't you want a break from that? Camp gives kids a chance to succeed on their own terms, to feel proud of themselves without the pressure and frustration that school can bring.
But it also comes with real life learning that might not look like worksheets or quizzes, but it's still real learning. They're solving problems, managing big emotions, navigating group dynamics, and speaking up for themselves. They learn to pack their own bags, keep track of their stuff. Make a plan for the day and adjust when things don't go as expected.
They get practice negotiating, asking for help, making decisions on the fly.
These are executive functioning skills in action like planning, emotional regulation, self-advocacy, flexibility, all the things we hope that they'll also build in school, but without the same pressure or fear of being judged. Camp gives them the space to [00:06:00] practice these skills in a setting that feels low stakes, but is actually full of growth potential.
School tends to reward one kind of kid, organized, quiet on task, the ones who color inside the lines or raise their hands at the right time, and certainly never forget to turn in their homework. But at camp, there's room for all kinds of strengths and learning styles. The kid who can't sit still in class might be the one who thrives running a tech booth for a camp performance or helping organize an art show.
The kid who struggles with group projects may take charge, planning an event, or keeping the whole cabin laughing. Camp creates space for creativity, humor, leadership. But for a kid who spends a school year feeling too much or maybe not enough, being celebrated for who they actually are is huge. The very traits that get them in trouble at school can become the [00:07:00] things that help them stand out.
One of the things I really appreciate about many camps is how much space there is to build relationships. Counselors aren't just keeping a schedule moving,they're with kids all day, side by side, and at Sleepaway camp, they're even with them all night noticing them, getting to know them. Encouraging their efforts and offering support in the moment for kids who might not have felt like they fully belong at school.
That kind of encouragement can feel really good. It builds trust, creates a sense of ease, and it opens doors for them to try things they might normally not do. Camp naturally builds this kind of community, and I think it's the key component.
When kids feel like they belong even for a week, it can shift how they see themselves and what they think is possible. It might not be dramatic or obvious. It may show up later in small steady [00:08:00] ways, like a little more trust in themselves, or a little more willingness to connect with others or being willing to try new things.
Camp plants those seeds and they can keep growing long after the summer ends. One of the most valuable parts of camp is how naturally it weaves in what many kids need to be successful. Things like movement, sensory input, and time to reset. Instead of having to ask for a break, kids are getting what their bodies and brains need just by being part of the day.
They're running or swimming, building, creating, moving between activities at a rhythm that works for them. For kids who spend the school year trying to stay still or keep it together, this can be a huge relief and it lets their nervous systems downshift, they're still active, engage, but without that internal pressure.
And when kids feel more regulated, everything else like [00:09:00] friendships, confidence, focus, that gets a lot easier too. Here's what I've seen again and again. Camp gives kids more than just fun. They come home with unexpected confidence, independence, and evidence that they too can handle challenges.
As Dr. David Yeager explains in his book 10 to 25, the Science of Motivating Young People, the real long lasting impact of camp comes from reflection, helping kids connect the dots between what they did and what it meant to them. He outlines this in chapter 12 in his research. Kids who reflected on their camp moments like what they did, how they felt went on to build deeper resilience, purpose, and tenacity.
That stayed with them for years.
Do you wanna bottle up the best parts of camp and bring them into the school year? I created a simple tool to [00:10:00] help you do just that. It's called the Camp to Classroom Reflection.
It is five quick but powerful questions to get your child thinking about what made camp feel good for them, what they tried, what they conquered, and what made them feel like themselves. If your child's strengths don't always show up in traditional classrooms, whether that's because of anxiety, learning differences, executive functioning challenges, or simply because their strengths aren't always recognized, this tool.
Can help you capture what does work. And it's a simple way to gather insight from the summer that you can use in the school year in conversations with teachers IEP meetings, or even when you're thinking about what supports they need in the year ahead, because the version of your child who shines at camp deserves to show up at school too.
So print it out. Fill it in together with your child and use it to build a bridge between the summer that worked and the school year ahead. [00:11:00] You can download it right now from the link in the show notes or at reframeparenting.com / camp. Thanks so much for listening.
Thanks for tuning in to Unlocking School Success. If you're finding these episodes helpful, please hit follow, leave a review, or send it to another parent who's also navigating the school maze because no one should have to figure this out alone. You'll find full show notes at reframeparenting.com/podcast and you can come say hi on Instagram @ReframeParenting.
Thanks again for listening. See you next time.
