18: Dysgraphia and Beyond: School Handwriting Challenges
When a child resists writing or becomes overwhelmed by handwriting, it’s often mistaken for laziness or lack of effort. In this episode, I’m joined by occupational therapist Kelli Fetter, founder of Handwriting Solutions, to explore what handwriting challenges really mean—including dysgraphia and related learning differences. We talk about why frustration and avoidance are important clues, how handwriting difficulties can look different for every child, and how parents can shift from worry and blame to understanding and effective school support.
Key Takeaways:
Avoidance and frustration are signals. When writing feels hard, resistance can point to stress in the process, not a lack of effort.
Handwriting challenges aren’t about intelligence or motivation. Dysgraphia and related difficulties reflect how the brain processes writing, not how capable a child is.
Writing difficulties don’t follow a single pattern. Some children struggle with legibility, others with speed or output or a mix of them.
Understanding leads to better advocacy. When parents understand what’s driving writing challenges, they can move from frustration to more effective school conversations.
Resources:
Connect with Scotti:
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Connect with Kelli:
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Transcript
18: Dysgraphia and Beyond: School Handwriting Challenges
Scotti Weintraub: [00:00:00] If there is avoidance of writing or frustration with writing. That is the biggest red flag that I would say.
If they're avoiding writing, that is giving me a big clue that something about that process is stressing them out and they do not want to take part of it.
Welcome to Unlocking School Success, a podcast with the smart strategies and support parents need to help their kids thrive. I'm your host, Scotty Weintraub, parent coach, school navigator, and your go-to guide for turning School Stress and Chaos into clear strategies that work. Let's get started.
Hi. Welcome back to another episode of Unlocking School Success. I am thrilled to be joined today by my friend Kelly Fetter, who is the founder of Handwriting Solutions. Welcome, Kelly.
Kelly Fetter: Thank you. Excited to be here.
Scotti Weintraub: Well, [00:01:00] I told you before we started recording that for some reason handwriting is a big search keyword that brings people to my website because you have a, a blog post on my website and I find that fascinating.
So I wanted to have you on the podcast too, because clearly people and parents wanna know more about handwriting. So that's what we're here to talk about today.
Why don't we start with the big overarching question, and I think this is something you probably talk to parents about a lot, why is handwriting important, especially in this digital age we're living in?
Yeah, it's honestly probably the biggest piece of advocacy and awareness that I do, on all of our platforms, our website, our blog, our social media, and so the really cool answer to this is because there's evidence, because there's research and what the research shows, is that when students [00:02:00] write by hand. They, there's greater retention in the information that they're learning. There is improvement in spelling, written composition, and written expression. It is a developmental milestone, so to speak, of brain and neural wiring.
And so more, more and more research and evidence is coming out that points to this and. I think that's exactly why it is still important. And there's research that I was looking at, EEGs and comparing handwriting against typing. I have yet to see a study that shows that typing wins. It's always, it's handwriting that's going to stimulate more areas of the brain, um, which then leads to better learning outcomes. So yes, there's a place for, um, computers and we would be, [00:03:00] uh, crazy not to acknowledge that. And so I'm a big proponent and explicitly teaching keyboarding as well. But I think we are really missing the boat and I think that we're starting to realize this in the educational system that when we pulled back.
From teaching handwriting skills in the school, um, our, our kids' literacy suffered. And so the exciting thing is that we're seeing some states, if you are in the States listening, um, we are seeing some states bring back this, this standard in this curriculum in the schools. But we of course want it to be better and bigger and more broad and encompassing.
Do it to the best of, of that the evidence shows that we should be doing. I love that you pointed out evidence because it is really fascinating to think about how the changes in the way that we [00:04:00] work, the way we teach our young students, but also I, I have a high schooler, their work is all on computers most of the day.
They carry a computer from class to class, and so they aren't doing a lot of that handwriting. What you mentioned that the, the retention suffers. What else is happening when we're relying exclusively on computers? Well, the interesting thing now that's come about too, that I think, um, high school and especially college, university level is coming into is this whole, which is a whole other conversation we could be having is this AI piece.
And so. I would venture to say that it is going to look a lot different if you have a middle schooler, early high schooler. I, I imagine life is going to look quite a bit different than, um, it looks now because of this pulling back of, of using keyboarding and [00:05:00] laptops and somebody who works all digitally.
Because of this heavier reliance on ai. But yes, that's great and I'm excited about that. And if it takes AI to push us to that. Okay. But I think that we're just really missing the, the boat, so to speak, of, um, that. That process, that engaging and that multisensory experience when we put a pen or a pencil to paper and the effort that we have to go in to do that, versus just having our two dimensional experience with a screen and a keyboard.
Or just, again, the retention piece, but even just the depth of the learning and the critical thinking. It's just, it's so easy to just get on a keyboard and kind of regurgitate [00:06:00] information, but you know, when, when you put that pen or pencil to paper, you just, you really have to. To use a lot more.
Even the spelling, I think about spell check, you know, it's just so easy. It's right there. Well, when you're writing by hand, it's not there. Um, so it just takes, it's a little bit more grit, I think, which I, I think all of our students could, could benefit from. Probably, you know, you're an occupational therapist and so I know that you have worked with students specifically on improving handwriting and pencil group and for those students.
Sometimes it's not just that it is better for them to use a pen and pen, pen and paper or pencil. I guess it is that there's something else going on for them. I wanna talk a little bit about those kids for whom handwriting is maybe more challenging. Yeah, and that's where we have to have that balance because I will speak both as a [00:07:00] professional and as a parent of a child who has dyslexia and dysgraphia, there are times where that computer is the best solution at that moment.
And so I think it's a balance of what is the outcome of this. Project or assignment. If the outcome is to get those thoughts out and if the best way to get those thoughts out are speech to text or typing, then we will do that. But we won't forget that handwriting piece too. So, you know, there are times where we can have that nice quality handwriting practice and use that skill.
If it is extremely hard for that student, and if it is hindering their written output, then we wanna pull in those accommodations to help bridge the gap and, and level the playing field for that student. So I think sometimes schools. Get caught up on, you have to pick and you have to be team one or team, you know, two.
And [00:08:00] it's just a lot more nuanced than that. And the best thing I could say is we just have to have both. We have to have remediation, which are those skill building activities and building up their handwriting skills. And we have to have accommodations, especially for those students that it just takes so much of their bandwidth to.
Write by hand, um, to get those thoughts out because they are handwriting is so complex and I think we sometimes forget about that as adults when we just grab our pen and jot down our grocery list. And, um, but it's actually really, really complex and there's fine motor skills and visual skills, perceptual skills, processing, spelling, grammar, syntax.
I mean, just so I could go on and on and on and on. Which is why it's great and brilliant and so good for our brains, but also for students that are struggling, we have to minimize that cognitive load. Um, I talk a lot about cognitive load, um, on our website and social media and with our parents that we work with.
[00:09:00] And it doesn't mean maybe scrapping handwriting altogether, but maybe let's remove a cognitive element to that so that the student can access their learning. So let's back up. I heard you use a few words that maybe we should dive into a little bit. What is dysgraphia? Yeah, so dysgraphia is a specific learning disability in writing.
Um, so that could encompass handwriting, but that could also encompass written expression, so that getting the thoughts out to paper it is one of three specific learning disabilities. So I like to think about specific learning disabilities as an umbrella term. And you have the disability in reading.
Which is dyslexia. You have the disability in writing, which is dysgraphia, and then, uh, learning disability and math, which is dyscalculus. You can have dysgraphia on its own, or, uh, it is very often co [00:10:00] coupled with another, you know, learning difference or sometimes A DHD or anxiety. So the comorbidity is, is pretty high, but.
And also what's tricky, um, about dysgraphia is it looks different in every single student. And so one student with dysgraphia is going to look quite a bit different than another student with dysgraphia. Some students with dysgraphia might struggle with handwriting, some don't at all. And it's that written output part.
So paint me a picture and for everyone listening what. What could be a couple of examples of students that may have some of these challenges? Yeah. I mean the number one thing that I hear from parents, um, is they bring a picture of their child's writing and they show me, or they put it on a Facebook group and they're like, does my child have dysgraphia?
And I wish it was that easy. [00:11:00] Now, I do not diagnose, um, that you would want a psychologist, neuropsychologist, developmental psychologist for that. But what I can tell you is yes, that's. That's good and helpful to see what their written output is. But I wanna see, I wanna see them in action when they're writing because that tells me a lot more information than just that output.
Um, but at times it can look like illegible, messy handwriting, just kind of all over the paper. You know, they're not on the lines. The sizing might be too big. Um, the formation, sometimes there's reversals. Or just one of my favorite things that kind of helps stick is they're drawing the letter instead of fluently writing the letter.
So, for example, if they are writing, um, let's say the lowercase r sometimes the student might start at the bottom, push the pencil up and give the little hook at the top, and then they'll go back and add that. [00:12:00] Little stick or that little line to make the lowercase r And so that's not at all fluid or automatic.
And then maybe the next time they write it, they do it another way. So it's, it's again, that legibility piece, the pacing piece. But if I had to say one red flag for any, I don't care what grade, what age your student is. If there is avoidance of writing or frustration with writing. Mm-hmm. That is the biggest red flag that I would say.
Now, whether they have dysgraphia or not, that's neither here nor there. What we do in our approach doesn't matter if they have a diagnosis. You might wanna seek out a diagnosis if you do need some school supports, but. If they're avoiding writing, that is giving me a big clue that something about that process is stressing them out and they do not want to take part of it.
Um, as well as again, that frustration with writing too. So for my own child that [00:13:00] looked like in kindergarten, she was ripping up papers and throwing them at me. And um, you know, of course that pediatric OT brain of mine was like, but your fine motor skills are great. What is happening? Like, what is going on?
And then of course, by end of kindergarten I'm like, something is going on. The teacher's like, oh, she's fine. She's just in kindergarten. And first grade rolls around and she got a dyslexia and dysgraphia diagnosis. So, um, full, full circle there. But, but again, avoiding frustrating. Like there's, there's.
More to it, and they shouldn't be. They should be developmentally able to keep up with their peers. And so sometimes looking at peers too could be a really good helpful tool for parents to, um. See like, Hmm is my child because we, nobody teaches us as parents what to expect for handwriting. And this might shock your listeners too.
Most teachers are not educated in handwriting. They're not educated in how [00:14:00] to, to teach a child how to hold a pencil, which is. Baffling but true. Um, and they are eager and hungry to learn this, but they don't come out of college knowing this information. So, I, I always look to that piece too, of that avoidance and frustration.
Oh, that's such a good reminder that it doesn't always look like one particular thing. Because I think even, you know, also as the parent of someone who was diagnosed with dysgraphia. We think about the, the sloppy handwriting and, and I will, my son actually had a teacher call his work sloppy, and it was so painful because I knew that there was more going on, and I had talked with them about that too.
But there's this perception that it is just a lack of effort. Mm. That they're not trying hard enough. If they actually paid, you know, slowed down, paid attention, they could have good handwriting, but mm-hmm. What is it that dysgraphia [00:15:00] does to make the handwriting hard? Yeah. I'm so glad that you brought that up too.
Just like it is not lack of effort. I can promise you these kids are trying 10 times harder than anybody else in that classroom. So dysgraphia, you know, there's still a lot of research. Going on, and I am emerging and I am here for it because, you know, seven years ago when my daughter got diagnosed, there was not enough.
Um, but essentially the way neurology describes it as it's, it's an inefficiency in the brain. And so we want our brains to be really efficient when we're reading and we're writing. And so they're, um, pulling from specific parts of the brain and, um. That's what creates that. Not to get too technical, but that orthographic loop.
And so that's where we kind of hear information and take it in. Um, or we might see, you know, something on the board. And so we're taking an information visually or auditorily processing it [00:16:00] in our brain and then getting it out by hand. And that processing in the brain. Can be where a lot of the breakdowns for our dysgraphic student happens.
Um, maybe they're just recruiting different parts of the brain that are less efficient. Again, it could be a fine motor concern. It could be the grasp, it could be, um, you know, there's so many factors that go into handwriting, but when we think of it like that. That helps us have that empathetic response of mm-hmm.
Yeah, this is actually really hard and the student is trying so hard and it is taking them a lot longer. And it is messy, but that's, that's their, that's what they can do at this point. Um, and it, then we can come at it from an empathetic approach as well as say, okay, well then where in that loop is that breakdown happening and where can we build up those skills for that student?
This is such an important reframe, uh, about how we [00:17:00] as parents see when our kids are having these challenges because if we too get trapped in that mentality of, oh, they just need to try harder. Maybe we need to practice handwriting and that's somehow gonna fix it. But I love the way you described it. So simply that there, there's a lot of places where that disconnect or that lag or that challenge can be happening and really sort of digging down into seeing where specifically the, the kink is in the system.
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. , I feel like that might be freeing if I'm thinking about myself when my own child got diagnosed, I wish I had known that. You're right. It was, it was more than seven years ago when my child was diagnosed and it, it felt like there was no information at all. No. Yeah. Yeah. And that's our nature of like, but it, it should come easy.
[00:18:00] Right? Especially a lot of our DYSGRAPHIC students and students that struggle with handwriting. Are average to high iq, and so they are capable in so many areas and they have this incredible ability. But it's that sometimes that mismatch of performance and ability, and that's where we see that frustration creep in.
And so we can, if we can intervene and build up their skills in those areas to meet their ability that's going to of course eliminate a lot of those frustrations as well. I feel like the point you just made is so important for other parents to hear that it's not about intelligence. That it doesn't mean that they're not capable and smart.
Mm-hmm. Absolutely. 100%. It is the majority of students that we work with are, they would slip through the cracks, you know, because they're, they're not necessarily going to be the, the outliers in class. Their [00:19:00] grades are. Fine. You know, they're not always failing and, and so they'll just kind of slide under the radar and, um, for so long anyway until, maybe fourth, fifth grade and the demands increase.
Or maybe middle school even, maybe they can fake it till they make it, till then. And, um, then those, those writing demands increase. Significantly. And then that's where we see sometimes everything just kind of falls apart their compensatory strategies and they're masking and, and everything
that's when it can fall apart. So if there are parents listening who heard you just describe something that feels very familiar to them, what would be your recommendation as a next step? Yeah. I would say it depends on your child's age or grade with a different approach. If we are talking about an early elementary [00:20:00] student.
It's a different approach in that I would say, let's not panic. Let's give them some good quality intervention, some quality instruction. Um, let's make sure that we're setting them up for success. Let's prevent any f. Future difficulties and struggles versus like a later elementary, middle school, high school students.
Then I would say, yeah, we, we need to start today. To, to build up those skills as well as what can we give them in the meantime, those accommodations, but. That can bridge the gap for them in the meantime because what we don't want is for them to not have any supports and go through school hating school and a avoiding, any writing assignments and the mental health aspect that, that occurs then.
But I want parents to hear this. It is never too late. And if someone has told you and someone being, an ot, a teacher, your school administrator they might have said, oh, well you know [00:21:00] what? Your child is blank grade or blank age, so we're gonna move over to tech and we're not gonna worry about this handwriting piece.
Um, or your child can't improve. Beyond this age that is just completely false. And the the science tells us that, our brains are plastic. And the beauty of, um. Learning and growing and, no matter if we're 60 or 80 years old too, is that we can build these neuro pathways and we can help.
So I want parents to just take a deep breath and say, okay, it's not too late. We don't need to panic. Um, we can just. Start where we are and get that, get that support. Whether that be interventions in the school or if your school is resistant, then outside of the school, um, getting a really good 5 0 4 and or IEP in place and, potentially if they do not have a diagnosis, potentially seeking that out as well [00:22:00] just for future accommodations and supports too.
I think taking a deep breath is, is a great first start. It Yes. Feels like when you recognize these challenges or starting to recognize these challenges in your child, it feels big. Mm-hmm. And I love that you said, just take a breath. There is always time. Because it can feel well, one that, oh, how did I miss this?
There's some, mm-hmm. Maybe some guilt or frustration with yourself about, I should have known why didn't, or frustration with the schools saying, why didn't they recognize it? Why haven't they helped yet? But just to take a deep breath and say, mm-hmm. Okay. Now we have, I always talk about this as just valuable information.
Yes. Right? Yes. It's super valuable information the more you know, right? Mm-hmm. And now then you can take those steps in looking, as you said about maybe seeking out [00:23:00] diagnosis, talking with teachers, exploring. So where might you point folks? I maybe just tell them what you do and how you might be able to help, because I think you're a great resource.
Yeah. Well that's what I was gonna say. I mean, if, if all else fails, just give me a call because I have lived it as a parent, and I've also been on that, educator, professional OT end as well. So I've seen both sides of this. And I've, you know, when my daughter got her diagnosis, I cried.
And I know a lot of you all can relate to that of like. Uh, yeah, exactly. I felt the guilt. I felt like what I have failed my child. I am not, you know, and all of that, just feel it, take a moment, but know that, like you said, the more information, the better. And I am a huge advocate for, give me all the information because I would rather know than not know.
And I will promise you your student feels that way too. I know that sometimes that's a. [00:24:00] Conundrum the parents' face of like, do I tell my kid and I'm on the boat of tell your kid because that's empowering and. It alleviates Any doubts, any questions of, well, I'm just not good enough. I'm just not smart enough.
I'm just not, and tell them often because I still have to tell my daughter, um, who is a bit of a perfectionist. Um, I don't know where she gets that from. But I have to cons, like consistently ingrain that in her, of this is how your brain learns and that is okay. And it is. Beautiful because there's so many gifts that come with that too.
But yeah, some things are gonna be a little bit harder, and that's really frustrating. And, just being on the same team, I think sometimes as our kid can be helpful. So yeah, if you're a parent and, and that all, any of this sounds familiar, I'll have Scotti put our free consultation in the show notes and, um, just reach out if you just need someone to talk to and just say, what, where do I [00:25:00] start?
Where do I begin? This sounds familiar. This sounds like my child. I don't even know where to start because starting is sometimes the hardest part. And then from there, of course I'll share a little bit about what we do at Handwriting Solutions. So we are, uh, fully virtual tutoring. Company and we work with students worldwide providing dysgraphia and handwriting, struggle remediation, as well as we provide reading and spelling intervention too, so our dyslexic students can benefit from that as well.
As well as just, any student that's struggling with reading, writing, handwriting written expression, spelling and so on. So we try to come at it from a very comprehensive team approach. So we have ot, most of our, well, all of our handwriting tutors have a occupational therapy background.
And then, um, our reading spelling team has an educational background and we try to look at this holistic profile of the student and being a team player, incorporating the parent, [00:26:00] incorporating the teachers, any support staff, et cetera, so that we can get the best and fastest, honestly, outcome possible.
And then we also provide school teacher trainings, OT trainings, et cetera. Because, when I first started this, it was very, small, and it was just me and it was two afternoons a week and I was helping students that were like my daughter and struggled and quickly learned that a, everybody, everybody needs, to have the support in their community.
And it was hugely lacking , which is why we went 100% fully virtual. But also so many teachers. Kept knocking on our door and saying, but we need your help. Like, we see what you're doing and we want to help too. And so if I can teach them on that, the front lines, so to speak, and set them up for support, even better.
Even better. So, again, we'll share the free consultation. You can [00:27:00] obviously go to our website, handwriting solutions.org. You'll see my email on there as well and the free consultation link. I also have a massive, I know Scottie mentioned the blog that I did for her. I. Just love to write.
And so, um, you'll see on our website we have over 90 articles that you can search through, um, dysgraphia specific, or if you have a specific struggle, like my child writes their letters backwards, or I. Uh, help me pick out a good paper type for my child, or what about, tell me about pencil grips. It's all pretty much going to be there.
So we try to give as much free resources and value because again, I've lived this journey, um, when there were very little resources out there. So I, I wish I had found you 15 years ago, I'll tell you that. But you are my go-to resource. I send everyone there. If you have handwriting questions, Kelly is [00:28:00] definitely your person.
I will of course, put a link to your website and the, the free consultation call in the show notes. I just want to reinforce something that you said that with this information that we need to be sharing it with our kids and. I think what I talk to my coaching clients about is seeing, the gift in that instead of seeing a diagnosis as a burden or a a label, I hear this concern a lot.
Mm-hmm. You know, I don't know if I wanna burden my child, but really what we're doing is giving them a gift of knowing themselves. And so I, I just wanted to highlight that piece you mentioned. 'cause I think it's so important that if we can help our kids, like your child and my child, know where their gifts are, know where their challenges are, it just helps them become the best version of themselves as they get older.
Yeah. And helps them from thinking that they're just, these are the words that they hear in their brains. [00:29:00] Mm-hmm. Lazy, dumb, you know, unmotivated, not capable. And instead they can say, oh, okay, I have this challenge. I'm working on it. And find ways to, to keep them engaged in school without the frustration.
Yeah. And the advocacy, the self-advocacy piece that comes with that too. That I we're big proponents of that too, of like, yes, we want parents to be advocates, but really we want that student to be advocating, right? Advocating for their own needs in that classroom, which could be really hard. Um, it can be.
And it's a process, right? It's a process. Yeah. Yeah. So we could have a whole other conversation just about that, but we're kind of out of time, so, I like to ask all of my guests just to point, and I know your website is of course, a great resource, but is there, a podcast or a blog or a book that you would recommend folks check out with regards to what we've been talking about today?
I mean, there's so, so many. Actually, I have a, blog post [00:30:00] on resources and it does exactly this. My favorite books, my favorite podcast, my favorite. Um, and I'll have to add your Scotty because, um, I know that we're it's a new-ish podcast, but you're doing the thing and it's amazing and I know it's gonna be around for a long time, but, one of, the best resources for me when my child first got diagnosed and really over the years, jennifer and I still check in at least every few months with each other is Dysgraphia life. And so it's an organization that has again, a wealth of information on their website. And they are also doing the hard work of advocating and, developing research so that we have even more databases to pull from when we talk.
Anything dysgraphia. And so I love, I love what she is doing over there. It's, it's an incredible organization. Wonderful. And that one's new to me too, so I love that. I'm learning right along with all our listeners. So I'm gonna include a link to Dysgraphia life in [00:31:00] our show notes.
And with that, I'm gonna say thank you, Kelly, for bringing this under Understood. Piece to our conversations around school challenges. I, I hope that it parents who are listening, if you feel like something resonated with you, you can reach out to Kelly, you can reach out to your teachers and ask.
Yeah, absolutely. I think that's, just take that next step, I know it's easy to get the overwhelmed, but just take that next step and we're here to support you. Great. Well, thank you so much. It's been a pleasure. Thanks for listening to this latest episode of Unlocking School Success, and we'll catch you next time.
Thanks.
Thanks for tuning in to Unlocking School Success. If you're finding these episodes helpful, please hit follow, leave a review, or send it to another parent who's also navigating the school maze because no one should have to figure this out alone. You'll find full show [00:32:00] notes@reframeparenting.com slash podcast and you can come say hi on Instagram at Reframe Parenting.
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