23: Why the PTA Is Worth It (Even When School Is Hard for Your Child)
Getting involved at your child’s school can feel intimidating. In this episode, I sit down with Christina Hidek, founder of PTO Answers, to break down how parent groups can be a powerful, manageable way to support both your child and your school community.
Christina shares how small contributions can make a difference without overcommitment or burn out. We discuss how being involved can give you insight into what’s happening at school, help build stronger relationships with teachers and staff, and make advocacy feel more collaborative and less stressful. If you’ve ever thought, “I want to be involved… but I don’t have the time or energy,” this conversation’s for you.
Key Takeaways:
Getting involved gives you real insight into your child’s school day and decisions happening behind the scenes.
Being a known, trusted parent makes advocacy conversations easier and more collaborative.
You don’t need a big role—small, specific ways of helping still make a meaningful impact.
Connecting with other parents builds support and helps you feel less alone.
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Submit it as a listener question for a future episode
Transcript
23:Why the PTA Is Worth It (Even When School Is Hard for Your Child)
Speaker: [00:00:00] Welcome to Unlocking School Success, a podcast with the smart strategies and support parents need to help their kids thrive. I'm your host, Scotti Weintraub, parent coach, school navigator, and your go-to guide for turning School Stress and Chaos into clear strategies that work. Let's get started.
Scotti Weintraub: Hello, and welcome back to another episode of Unlocking School Success. It is my great pleasure to have a special guest with us today. I've got Christina Hidek. She is, as she calls, a recovering attorney and also a mom who turned her own PTA experience into helping other families get involved in schools and you know that's something I greatly appreciate.
So welcome, Christina.
Christina Hidek: Oh, Scotti, I'm so excited to be here for this conversation.
Scotti Weintraub: We have a lot to talk about because as I told you before we hit record, I have been a long time [00:01:00] PTA slash PTO volunteer myself. I often suggest to people that they get involved in their kids' schools, I can't wait to get into this.
So maybe the easiest starting point is just for those who might be listening and don't know, what is A PTA or A PTO?
Christina Hidek: PTAs and PTOs are basically the same thing. One is affiliated with a national organization, which is a PTA. And so basically, if you're not a PTA, but you're a school parent group, then you're A PTO. Whether the letters of your group's name include PTO or not, you are still A PTO because the all PTOs and PTAs exist to improve the school community.
Provide enrichment for students, provide good things for teachers and staff, and just to make the whole school environment better for everyone. So it really doesn't matter if it's like a homeschool club or a parent council, still a PTO.
Scotti Weintraub: Great. I think that sometimes lends itself to some confusion around branding [00:02:00] and what exactly is my organization, but I think what I'm hearing is it doesn't really matter what it's called.
That the purpose is what's the most important thing.
Christina Hidek: As parents, all we need to know is it's a vehicle for us to really be in, not only be involved, but learn the ropes of the school. Learn. What you don't know, like there, when I first started as a PTA volunteer, I didn't even know the questions to ask. Like I didn't know what I didn't know.
And that has pretty much been a consistent theme throughout all of the time that I've been a PTA volunteer. 'cause I've been volunteering in my kids' schools for over 15 years,
Scotti Weintraub: You and I have this in common because we both came to the work that we're doing through our own experience as parents.
And so why don't you zoom out a little bit and tell me just more broadly, a high level view, why is it so important for parents to be involved in these kinds of school organizations?
Parents are really the third stakeholder, like the third adult stakeholder in [00:03:00] schools. So I don't know personally, I don't know how you would know what's going on with your child. That's been my primary motivation is I wanted to understand what was happening in the school and I wanted to be part of it.
Plus I am a problem solver at heart. It's like why I went to law school. 'cause that teaches you all how to solve problems and research and other things like that. I have a hard time imagining not being involved just because, and I don't even have the model of my mom.
'cause my mom was a teacher in the school and so she was wearing and sometimes in the same school where my brother and I were attending. So that was like really difficult for her to manage all of those different hats. And my dad wasn't involved because that was just not done it was, it's primarily moms, which is, that has, that is really changing.
But I think it's important because there needs to be a collaborative partnership between. The adults who are shepherding your kids throughout the day because they only have them for what, eight hours and then you have them for the rest of the time, and so [00:04:00] you have to be working in concert to raise these kids.
I loved what you started with, which is that parents are a key stakeholder group, and I think that's a piece that maybe some parents don't think about that really that piece is so important that it isn't. As if you send your kids off to school and then it's not a place that you are involved with at all, although it can feel like that because you do literally, wave them off in the morning and they're in this building that you don't know anything about necessarily.
And. I think that is such a key piece that this is this one little way that you can really get insight into what's happening at school. So talk a little bit about that. Like what kind of insight can parents gain by being involved?
Christina Hidek: What don't you get? Man, I've gotten like when my kids were in elementary school, one time I was in the building. And the music teacher walked by and said, your kid said the cutest thing.
So I never would've had this cute little insight about my kid . You just get an [00:05:00] insight into what is happening within the walls when you are not there.
Being involved has really put me in a room where like the decisions are being made. So I've been involved in the strategic planning process for the school district multiple times and found that it was really nice to have that level of access
Scotti Weintraub: If a parent is listening to us talking today and they have not been engaged in their kids' school. What are some easy access ways that you encourage families to start getting involved?
Christina Hidek: It all starts with like just going to the next PTO or PTA meeting.
Just go and see what's going on. See what interests you. Because I think one of the biggest things, biggest misconceptions about. School parent groups is that somebody else will do it. That there is a group of magic fairies that is pulling off the special person's dance or is making the senior sendoff happen.
And as much. It disappoints me to let [00:06:00] everyone know there are no magic fairies. It is all the work of moms and dads and grandparents and aunts and uncles and caregivers and guardians who are, who decided that they wanted to do something great for their kids. That they either wanted to replicate something from their own childhood like I had.
A fantastic school talent show where a certain boy that everyone thought was the bee's knees got up and did, who's on first with his dad in the fifth grade. And that was like a core memory. And I wanted to do a school talent show. For my kids. 'cause I thought that it's just been, it was so fun to go to school when it's dark.
People got on stage and they like was fun and it was a fun community event and everything. I wanted that for them. And so I helped to arrange that at multiple schools because it was such fun. And then when people saw it, they're. This is great fun. And I was like, and it's so [00:07:00] easy and it costs nothing and it's a community builder, so let's do it.
But yeah, you go to that first meeting and when you go to that meeting, that is not signaling to anyone with appropriate boundary like awareness that means that you're ready for anything more. So do not go thinking or do not go, because you're afraid of getting pulled down into the black hole abyss of never ending volunteer requests, right?
Scotti Weintraub: Yes. Because I think there's that fear.
Christina Hidek: Yeah. And it's so real because like I said, for the people who have good boundary awareness, there are a lot of people who don't have that awareness. Like I had a friend, I've been friends with her forever. We were at the high school. PTO meeting and somebody new walked in and my friend goes, oh, nice to meet you in front of everyone.
She goes, we do need a secretary. And I was like, friend, knock that off. And I even said it in front of everyone because we're good enough friends where I could be like, calling her out. She's not gonna get mad at me. And I was like, don't scare her away. [00:08:00] I go, she's just showing up to get information like that can be enough.
That is step one. And then step two is maybe you go back the next month. Maybe at some point you decide you want to be a little more involved because maybe there's something like, it's that talent show that you're like, I do wanna have that. Or I do wanna have, like my mom, we lived in Canada for a couple years.
Growing up 'cause my dad was transferred to, on, to Nepean, Ontario for I think it was Ottawa actually, and we lived in Nepean, but whatever. So she helped to arrange a carnival and it was. The booths were made out of appliance boxes, like the huge ones, and they were like, nothing fancy, but I just remember again, just like core memory locked in.
And so there might be something from your own childhood that you want your kid to experience just because, and that can be a enough reason to get involved.
Scotti Weintraub: Or I think sometimes it's really what I have loved is when a [00:09:00] parent finds an opportunity where they can share their own skills.
Christina Hidek: Oh yeah.
Scotti Weintraub: In a really powerful way. I have a photographer friend who has her own photography business, and every once in a while we'd have a photography need and it was great to be able to pull her in because she wanted to participate in a meaningful way. Yeah. But didn't necessarily want like a long-term, leadership position, but we were able to call on her because she had these very particular skills that were great.
Christina Hidek: I met person one time I was arranging a an after prom, so it's like a safe and sober activity. One mom, I was like, I wanna do a balloon arch.
I've never done this. So this one mom was like, I do balloon arches. All the time. And she came in and just did the balloon arches for us right now. It took a long, it took, she was there for four hours doing it because they take a long time. But she, that was like her craft and she loved to do it.
So there, there are lots of ways to quote unquote be involved without it turning into a second. [00:10:00] Full-time job or time job
Scotti Weintraub: that can feel sometimes like the fear, right? That, getting involved in school somehow equals Yeah, I have to take on a whole new job. And I know a lot of parents, especially when your kids are struggling in school, you might have things like outside appointments that you have to attend to and this might feel like one more thing that you have to add to your already very full plate.
So I like to encourage families to just find small ways too, and it doesn't even have to be at a PTO level, but asking your teacher can also just be like a really great way.
Christina Hidek: Yeah.
Scotti Weintraub: To get that initial engagement. How can I help this one teacher?
Christina Hidek: Yeah. What do you need? What do you need? I think one of the things.
Another misconception I should say about getting involved is that it is gonna be a huge draw on your time. When I found I guess it, yes, only because when I do something, I go all in. I have a hard time of, and now it's I built a business on it, right? So that's the other thing.
So I am like a [00:11:00] special unicorn in that aspect. But the main driving reasons for me to get involved in the first place is because I didn't know anybody with kids at the school. So it was really for my own personal, like need to find some friends. That's who the who you're seeing at the flagpole when you go to pick up or that's when you're gonna see at movie night or the football game, or the soccer game or whatever.
These are the people you're hanging out with, so you wanna get to know them. So that was my initial thing, was that I needed more friends and also saw that. Getting involved, going to that first PTO meeting was a way to make that happen. And in truth, some of my very best friends have come out of that decision.
I think it can save you time in a lot of unexpected ways. So let me just rattle off a couple.
One, you can ex, you're going to probably expand your friend base, which will give you some childcare opportunities, potentially when the kids are younger. ' cause I know that we would all trade [00:12:00] off ' cause the kids got to know each other 'cause they were in the gym to set up for the magic show. And they just got to know each other. So they were like their own little friend group. And then the parents had a friend group. And so we'd stick one parent on watching all the kids while everybody else went to go, volunteer or do something very specific. And so you get to know people. You learn what you don't, what you didn't know, which can save you some really, can save you some from making some mistakes. For example, you might get the inside scoop on different teachers that you might be a better fit for your kid. And just you learn the rules of the school. 'cause each school has a different culture and has a different way of doing things and different opportunities.
Schools don't necessarily write everything down, so yes, there is a student handbook probably, but does it have every single thing that you as a parent need to know? No. There're gonna be some things that you didn't know about it. Remember one year when my kid was, my oldest, was a freshman at the high school [00:13:00] and went to a PTO meeting?
We were talking about, it was a planning meeting and the president of the PC goes I don't even know when like open house is. And I was like, oh, I went to freshman orientation. I can tell you that. So like the school was really bad at communicating certain dates, but I knew it as a freshman mom, so I could contribute that way.
So there's just different things like that you wouldn't have necessarily known.
Scotti Weintraub: And because a lot of my listeners are parents of kids who maybe struggle in school in a variety of different ways, I think for me, having been that parent, getting involved also really allowed me. To be able to, as you, you talked about building relationships with people and that can take us so far I think, because, relationships allow you, as you said, to have a conversation and there's that assumption of good intent on both sides because you had that time to build a relationship with them, so they trust you.
Christina Hidek: Yeah,
Scotti Weintraub: there's trust and what that allowed me to do too was to be able to know [00:14:00] confidently that I could ask questions and that they'd be well received. ' cause I wasn't just coming out of left field. I was a known person that they had a relationship with. And it's the sort of reciprocity of I'm willing to help you and you're willing to help me.
If I ask for things and sometimes I will say, as the parent of a kid who struggled at school, it can feel like you are. And this is a concern I hear from parents a lot, that you're being overly demanding. That you're asking for extra or they're too demanding of a teacher's or an administrator's time.
But if you also show up for them, it can feel more reciprocal and less you are being demanding. Although I think our kids all deserve to succeed. So asking for support for them, I don't believe it's ever too demanding. But it can sometimes, I get that hesitancy from people a lot about I can't ask for things or teachers are overburdened, but if we show up too, they see us as that partner.
Unless like just someone who's asking.
Christina Hidek: Yeah. It does come down to the collaborative partnership. [00:15:00] That's why I wrote the, literally the book for the principals on how to partner with the parent groups because principals are not really taught. This was so surprising to me that in their classes to get to become administrators like and become licensed, there's really no meaningful portion about engaging parents or like working with parent groups.
But part of title, like Title one funds, is based on family engagement and that so there's a big push for family engagement, but nobody ever tells you how exactly to do it or leverage the biggest component to make that happen, which just blows my mind.
Scotti Weintraub: That is interesting so why don't you tell us a little bit more about this book that, because I know you also do training around school staff, so I think people might be interested to know what you're doing with that.
Christina Hidek: Yeah. So last year I wanted to reach more people because I thought the whole reason I started doing what I do for PTO answers is that I wanted to make it easier for people to get [00:16:00] involved so that they did not have to figure it out on their own. I am not really one I excel as an editor. I excel at taking other people's ideas and making them my own and running with them.
But in this case, all the ideas weren't even collected. Weren't even organized. And so I thought geez, when I decide to do something, nothing can stop me. I'm gonna, I'm gonna do it, but I know not everyone's like that. Other people might just need a done for them plan.
I wrote this book to try and help principals because they don't have any training on how to leverage PTOs or PTAs anything meaningful. 'cause when you're writing a book, you have to do like research to see what what's out there. The last book that was written about. It was called like the PTA and IT and its work.
I think literally that was the title was from the early 19 hundreds.
Scotti Weintraub: Oh, geez.
Christina Hidek: Yeah, so like school has changed just a little bit in 130 years. So and so have parent groups, gosh, parent groups have changed so much from like the [00:17:00] 1960s, right? And so I wanted to bring everybody up to speed and I thought no one else is gonna do it.
I'm gonna do it because this is too important to leave to chance in my work. ' cause again, I've been trying to reach others for the last eight years and as PTO answers, I had one customer who said, I cannot tell you. She messaged me and she said, I cannot tell you. What a difference.
The resources that you've put together have made for my own community. And she said, not even just for the school. 'cause what she did was she took the systems and the kind of spirit behind everything and used the resources with community groups like her city, like I don't think the city council, but different committees and stuff.
So really she was like, you've affected more than just my school. It was like the whole town because people saw that things were more organized, that there was a structure, and when things are more organized and there's a structure that makes it more attractive to get involved [00:18:00] because who has time to get involved with a mess?
It's hard enough, but if something is like a well-oiled machine and that you can see, oh, I don't wanna be at the top of the machine, but I wanna be holding hands with the person to the left, I'm here for that. Then you see your place in the organization. You see how you can lend your time and talents and skills to making a difference.
So that's why I wrote the book for principals and I am going to be working on more.
Scotti Weintraub: There's always many more things to do.
Christina Hidek: Let me not get ahead of myself. I've been thinking about it as soon when I was writing the first book, I was like, I'm totally gonna have to write another one.
Scotti Weintraub: We'll be cheering you on when that happens. Thank you. I love that you are talking specifically to administrators, because as we've been talking about it, is this sort of two-way street, right? And it isn't just for parents to be doing all of the work, but it's also for schools to find ways to bring in parents.
And That's right. And that's when that really great community, that you are hoping to foster really can [00:19:00] happen because you've got everybody working together and it's not seen as adversarial and there's not. Power imbalances and that everybody is just there for the betterment of the school and the broader community, and we all benefit from that.
Christina Hidek: Oh, absolutely. And I think one thing is that the job of schools that they're being tasked with right now is so huge and overwhelming and like the demands on. Not just teachers and principals. Yes, there's a ton of them. And of course there's a ton on parents too, but it's together, I really think we are collectively more than individually.
So there are things that the school cannot do without the help of parents and vice versa. So like we all, we need each other. It's, we're like symbiotic organisms that kind of need where. I can't think of how to say it. Intertwined that like you can't parse it out.
Yes. And for those of us with kids with special challenges, it can just provide an opening [00:20:00] too to help educate teachers, educate other parents about how best to meet the needs of our kids.
And when you have those relationships. That's where that re like really meaningful conversations can happen too. You will be meeting other parents who maybe have been there and done that and can be like, word to the wise, go work with this person.
Or this is how, this was my experience and this is how I got around it. So that can save you a lot of time and trouble and headache because you don't need to repeat that and you can learn from their mistakes,
Scotti Weintraub: right? Pick up on strategies from those who have, walked the road before you. And you were mentioning around community and having those friends, and especially connecting with other families who've had similar challenges can be so meaningful for parents and it can feel really isolating.
When you're, you feel like you're the only one who's dealing with things, and so finding those outlets to even identify who other similarly minded or parents who are [00:21:00] on the same road.
Christina Hidek: Being involved at the level I was, and actually it would've been achievable with being not as involved. So just being involved period made me a more empathetic human. Because I was able to read the grant proposals from the the elementary school where my kids went.
The district kind of had every divided. The school's up to where they'd specialize in different things. So their elementary school was serviced a lot of the kids with autism. And that unit, like they had specialists there. And so we, our PTA would do teacher grants every year.
So it was like teacher slash staff. You didn't have to be a teacher, but just a pot of money that they could. Ask for funding for whatever they wanted, like just something that wasn't regularly budgeted for. And my favorite thing was to tell the one special ed the specialist that they were getting the funding for the [00:22:00] iPads or the special equipment.
Or it was even, I think back when weighted blankets were just like a thing. Or just becoming a thing, to tell her that yes, we were gonna give them full funding and she would cry happy tears. And I was like, I feel so bad. But I love this. I love being able to give her the money to make her life easier, but also because I don't have a child that has that that doesn't have autism.
I wasn't necessarily aware of the different challenges, so it just made me more. Aware of the different challenges and that how I could be an ally in helping to smooth down any of the rough edges that I could.
Scotti Weintraub: I love that. And another thing you and I have in common is that I also was in charge of teacher grants for our PTA years ago.
And I agree that it was like a really unique insight into what was happening at different. Class levels, and you got that sort of sneak peek of oh, the fourth grade teachers do this particular kind of project. That sounds interesting. It just gave you that little bit of insight into [00:23:00] what different teachers were asking about, which I found really fun.
Christina Hidek: Yeah, very granular. Very granular. But it was very interesting to see how everything tied together.
Scotti Weintraub: And to see too how they were starting to integrate new things, like you mentioned weighted blankets. And I remember seeing a lot of asks for things like sensory tools. And I, that just made me really happy.
Like I wanted to be able to support the integration of those materials into our classrooms. That was super. Great. So it just allowed me to have some insight and build relationships with teachers across grade levels too, which was really awesome. So we unfortunately have to wrap it up 'cause these conversations always could go on and on, but if you could lend some inspiration to a parent who's listening, who feels I don't have a lot of time.
I can't take on a whole project like teacher grants or organizing a talent show. If you were to just inspire somebody to get involved tomorrow, what's one thing that they could do next week to just move them in that pathway of [00:24:00] getting a little more engaged?
Christina Hidek: I think they could follow their PTO on social media.
Let's start with a very, that is such a light lift. That is such a light lift. And then maybe just do it incrementally. See what you have time for. Just figure out how you can learn a little bit more.
And there might be something that piques your interest and there might not. That's okay too, but at least you'll know. What the parents are doing and what opportunities there might be.
Scotti Weintraub: I think this is a smart little entryway too, because that's where you'll also potentially see those things like, oh, we need a volunteer to help with this discrete task over here.
Or we need, like that's where those call outs can happen, and so it's easy to dip your toe in in a way without having to commit to a bigger responsibility or just help with yeah. Help with a school cleanup day or, you can find out when those things are happening.
Christina Hidek: Yeah. I will also say that no is not a dirty word.
Scotti Weintraub: Important reminder.
Christina Hidek: We tell our kids no all the time. It's okay for you to go. It's not a good fit for me right now. [00:25:00] That's okay. No one is gonna be like, I cannot believe she just told me. No, no one's gonna say that. And if they do, that's not the kind of person you wanna be saying yes to anyway, so don't worry about it.
Scotti Weintraub: Important as a, a recovering over-volunteerer I can tell you that being able to set boundaries around it is also very important.
Christina Hidek: Yep. Absolutely.
Scotti Weintraub: 'Cause what we don't want is parents to get burned out.
Christina Hidek: No, 'cause it's, it stinks, but it's really no way to be in there. But I wouldn't, don't be afraid of burnout before you even start, because you're really gonna be limiting yourself. If I had not. I gotten involved when I did. I can think of many ways that we do not have time for to get into how my life would've been less than my personal life, my kids' life, and even the school district, because I like, there are programs that I started that continue today.
So it, it don't underestimate the potential for. Your impact and what it means. It's not just taking pictures at an event.
It's not just putting [00:26:00] together a balloon arch, like it's your impact is really, goes much deeper than that.
Scotti Weintraub: It does. Even with those, seemingly short term or low lift. Yeah. Things that impact can be huge. One thing that I I think about is the modeling I'm doing for my own kids.
How me showing up is impactful for them, that I'm engaged in their school, that I care about their school community. That, giving to others is an important thing. So
Christina Hidek: yeah, there the students have a much better outcome when their parents are involved.
That's why there's such a focus on like the education side to increase family engagement. Because when parents. Are present involved knowing what's going on. It means great things for their own kids.
Scotti Weintraub: I think that's a perfect place for us to stop then, and just being inspiring.
How can folks find you, Christina?
Christina Hidek: I have a website that has a ton of information so they can come on over to pto answers.com if they're interested in learning some initial [00:27:00] mistakes to avoid. I have a freebie that you can get at ptoanswers.com/ mistakes. Then I'll just give some common mistakes that people make and maybe that'll help with setting those initial boundaries, but certainly getting you up to speed if you wanna dip your toe in and you're PTO curious, like that's a great place to start. And then I'm on all the socials.
Scotti Weintraub: Okay, I'll be sure and link all of that in the show notes, but why don't you also tell us where folks can find your book.
Christina Hidek: Oh on my website. I have it available there digitally or hard copy. The magic fairy postal workers will bring it to you.
Scotti Weintraub: I so appreciated this conversation 'cause I am a firm believer in getting involved in schools and the impact that it can have for us and our kids.
So thank you for that. I'd like to just wrap up these conversations by asking, if you have a resource to share with families around these topics or something that might be of interest that is of course not your website 'cause we'll already have a link to that. But a book, a website, a podcast, something you think to carry [00:28:00] on this conversation.
Christina Hidek: All right, so it's not exactly to carry on this exact conversation, but it is related to giving back. In a way, or even just being involved. And it's my favorite baking site ever. I am not a fantastic baker, so this is where I said it was it would be funny. I, Sally's baking addiction is like, have you ever heard, have you heard?
Scotti Weintraub: I have. I have used some of her recipes, yes.
Christina Hidek: Okay. For anyone listening who has not made her carrot cake, this is what you need to do today. Okay. Have you made her carrot cake?
Scotti Weintraub: I haven't made that one, but I'll make note.
Christina Hidek: I made it first because my father loves carrot cake and I like to do fun things for him.
I have to now make it twice a year for his birthday in October and then again around Easter time because like it's not even a thing my husband who does not like cake, like we had to have a wedding pie in addition to our wedding cake loves I think he likes the cream cheese frosting, but he occasionally gets some cake in there too, so it is to die for, but that site.
Is wonderful.
Scotti Weintraub: Excellent. [00:29:00] So outside the professional realm, more for the personal realm. I love it. I've got some holiday baking to do today, so thanks for the inspiration and thanks for being here.
I really appreciate it.
Christina Hidek: It was a joy to talk
Scotti Weintraub: and thank all of you who are listening. If you found. Our conversation. Interesting. I would really appreciate it if you could hit follow or or give us a rating 'cause it helps me reach additional families. Thanks so much for tuning in.
Speaker 3: Thanks for tuning in to Unlocking School Success. If you're finding these episodes helpful, please hit follow, leave a review, or send it to another parent who's also navigating the school maze because no one should have to figure this out alone. You'll find full show notes@reframeparenting.com slash podcast and you can come say hi on Instagram at Reframe Parenting.
Thanks again for listening. See you next time.
