Understanding School Challenges: Parenting with Impact Podcast
I recently had the pleausure of being a guest on the Parenting with Impact podcast to talk about how parents can better understand school challenges — not just what they look like on the surface, but what’s underneath them. In my rich conversation with Elaine, we focused on how curiosity, understanding how a child’s brain works, and thoughtful advocacy can change the way parents support their kids at school.
Why kids struggle in school (and why it’s not about effort)
One of the most important ideas we explored is this: school challenges are rarely about laziness, motivation, or a lack of caring.
What parents see on the surface — missing homework, shutdowns, avoidance, behavior issues — is often just the visible part of a much larger picture. Underneath may be:
learning differences
executive function challenges
anxiety or emotional overload
sensory or environmental stress
unmet support needs
When parents focus only on the visible problem, it can lead to repeated frustration. When they get curious about why it’s happening, new possibilities open up.
Diagnosis as information, not a label
A common concern parents raise is fear of diagnosis — that it will label or burden their child. In our conversation, we talked about what can shift when diagnosis is viewed not as a label, but as a gift of understanding.
When kids don’t understand why things feel harder for them, they often fill in the gaps themselves. The stories they create are usually far harsher than reality: I’m lazy. I’m dumb. Something is wrong with me.
Understanding how a child’s brain works can be a relief — for kids and for parents. It opens the door to moving away from blame and toward systems, strategies, and support that actually fit.
How school support changes as kids get older
We also talked about how challenges, and our advocacy, can look different at different educational stages.
Elementary school
Elementary school often offers the best opportunity to build strong relationships with teachers. With one primary classroom teacher, collaboration and communication can go a long way toward identifying what a child needs and working together as a team.
Middle school
Middle school brings more teachers, more transitions, and more social and educational demands. While this can be hard for kids who struggle with organization or attention, it can also help. Movement, clearer subject boundaries, and exposure to different teaching styles can be a win for some kids.
High school
High school is where many parents are told to step back but not all kids are ready for full independence yet. Needing support in ninth grade does not mean a child won’t develop independence later. It means meeting them where they are and building skills gradually over time.
Some students don’t struggle at all until high school, when academic and social demands increase or long-standing coping strategies stop working. When that happens, it can feel sudden and confusing, but it’s more common than many parents realize.
Why advocacy feels hard for parents
Advocacy is rarely a one-time conversation or action and that can feel overwhelming. It’s ongoing, relationship-based, and sometimes difficult or uncomfortable.
Parents often hesitate to advocate because:
they don’t want to be seen as “that parent”
they worry about overburdening teachers
they don’t know what to ask for or how to start
the process feels exhausting or intimidating
We talked about how assuming good intentions, building relationships, and asking open-ended questions can make advocacy feel more collaborative and less adversarial.
Helping kids build self-advocacy over time
Self-advocacy doesn’t appear overnight. It develops through modeling, small steps, and involvement in the process. Meeting our kids where they are can help.
Things parents can do to build self-advocacy:
invite kids to share what feels hard
ask what helps them learn
include them (when appropriate) in conversations
model calm, respectful collaboration
Listen to the whole podcast conversation
Listen to the complete episode of the Parenting with Impact Podcast to hear the full conversation including real-world examples and reflections on parenting kids who struggle in school.
Listen wherever you listen to podcasts, or find it here.
Related Unlocking School Success podcast episodes
Parent the Child You Have: Rethinking Executive Function, ADHD & School Struggles – A conversation about how behavior connects to learning needs and practical parent strategies.
Unlocking School Success Through Self-Advocacy – Tips for helping kids build confidence and self-advocacy in school.
What Parents Need to Know About Executive Function - What is EF and how does it affect our kids learning? Tips for parents.
Uncover your unique school support style with my fun Golden-Girls themed quiz.
